I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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