you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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