you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
