This girl is more easily done than said...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
