Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize