I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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