NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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