The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize