I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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