He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
