Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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