This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
