just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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