unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize