Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
