Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
