Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
