He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize