As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
