I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
