her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
