Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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