I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
