I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
how drunk are you?
Several
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
