I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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