i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is wine microwaveable?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
