Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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