shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
