I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize