So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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