I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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