He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
