She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
