Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
