How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Randomize
