walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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