I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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