Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize