He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
