i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
