I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
