I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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