Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
