You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
