My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
