You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My breasts were aching with rage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
