Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
