i think my tv is drunk
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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