I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
