I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize