I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
