I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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