that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
