Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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