He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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