Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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