Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Watching her eat just hurts me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
