i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
