Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
