Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
