$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
