I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
