I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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